Today, April 19. I am feeling great loss. I’m sad, I want to write the next part, but I can’t. I will tonight, tomorrow for sure.
The clouds outside the window look dark and full, but they aren’t raining. Don’t the birds know that I don’t want to hear them singing? The sun shines, trying to lift my spirits, but I’m not ready for that. I don’t want to think about Challenger today. I don’t want to hear the birds or the dogs down the street, barking at who knows what. Emotions run freely today, yesterday. I’m sorry. I keep you waiting for the next part. I read all of your comments, they help. The words of well wishes, they’re like hands, holding me up, every day, after I post my new chapters.
I’ll write more tonight, but this second, I’ve got to stop. I’m sorry.
phoenix Says:
May 15th, 2005 at 6:07 pmVisit phoenix
Please never feel you have to say you are sorry to us the readers. I feel as if I need to say sorry to you. I have sat here for 3 hours now reading this and I feel as if I am intruding on your life by reading it.
You will find peace after this… I just know it. I wish I could just hug you and make it all go away.
Lucas Says:
June 14th, 2005 at 3:38 amVisit Lucas
I feel the same as Phoenix. Do not apologize. We should apologize to you for having to go through this nightmare.
sharmaine. Says:
August 24th, 2005 at 6:12 amVisit sharmaine.
just like everyone else who has been reading this, I’ve been captivated by the transcendent power of your words. for hours, I’ve gone through the archives and read, chapter by chapter, the (as of yet incomplete) story of the horrors of something that happened to you; something that should have never occured. as a reader, I feel like I am peering into something sacred and not belonging to me, but I too am honored that you would share this with your readers. by simply stumbling upon this journal, I have changed mentally, very much so. don’t ever apologize for hesitating. this is a hell of a difficult thing to write about, the past, or not. and it shows a lot of courage to put it out there and make your life known. you are on the road to healing; and even though I don’t know you, I am extremely proud of you.
CC Says:
May 14th, 2006 at 7:29 pmVisit CC
I have to agree–I feel we should all apologize to you. You are showing me the strength that sometimes I forget we have. And, you are inspiring me–my demons were all different but some of the things you’ve said have hit me right between the eyes. I hope this is helping you to heal. I hope I can find the strength to take your example and write out my own issues one day soon. Since I found your website today I have been reading nonstop except for a short trip to the fridge for more water. I ache thinking what you went through.
Best wishes,
CC
Rose Says:
October 24th, 2006 at 2:35 amVisit Rose
Allison its Rose I have been on this computer now forIi dont know 10 or more hours straight I cant help it. I cant stop reading your truth of your experiance and I know you know that I know what you went through and now that I have finally found this site after 17 years away from the challenger foundation I am able to share my experiance and I am here as a surviver and a witness to your experiance Love Rose