Ok, I’ve been gone. I have much more to write, but as it is right now, my husband and I are getting divorced. In the mean time, he thinks that when its final, he will get half of my earnings from this, although there is no book. This is a weblog, not a book and there is no money to come out of it. Now, my journal…this blog…is for my healing, and I am free to write again. Thank you ALL for your patience…
Alli
Comments are open on this topic
John Q. Public Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 7:13 pmVisit John Q. Public
Damn, Alli, I’m sorry to hear this.
Kristina Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 7:20 pmVisit Kristina
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about that! Why do people have to be so greedy? Even if you were to get money from this, and even if he did have legal rights to it, one would think that he would have enough respect for you and what you have gone through, and the emotional trauma that you are probably still going through, to just back off. I don’t know the details of your marriage or divorce, but I agree with your lawyer.
All profits that come from your book belong to you and only you. So, as eager we all are to hear the rest of your captivating story, please take as long as you need. I know I will still be here waiting patiently for your next entry.
Bless you and your family,
Kristina
J. Buckley Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 7:27 pmVisit J. Buckley
Yay! Can’t wait for the next installment.
labsnabys Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 7:29 pmVisit labsnabys
Alli,
I’m sorry to hear about your divorce…it’s never a fun process, no matter how necessary. I am glad to hear you have been given the green light to write again and look forward to the next “chapter” of your journey. If the writing helps you to heal, then it’s important you be allowed to continue with it.
Take care,
labsnabys
Suzi Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 7:45 pmVisit Suzi
Yay! Glad you can write again, Alli. We like to read it, but even more important is that it’s good for YOU.
Poppy Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 7:56 pmVisit Poppy
Alli, thanks for writing your story for all of us to read and learn (not profit!) from.
Debra Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 8:12 pmVisit Debra
I’m glad to see you’re making a tough situation better. You are a survivor and strong woman. Always keep faith.
Tricia Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 8:30 pmVisit Tricia
Alli! Yay to the being able to write still. Boo to the hopefully soon to be ex-husband. Also Yay to the odering page - I really liked the graphics you chose! Thinking of you and sending strength through my thougts.
Wendryn Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 8:34 pmVisit Wendryn
Take care of yourself. I don’t know you except from your writing, but I do hope things get better soon.
michelle Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 8:38 pmVisit michelle
you’re a strong woman, alli. this sista is behind you all the way. divorce (and a fucked-up childhood) is tough, i know. i wish you the best…trust me, it’ll all work out in the end.
Win Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 8:50 pmVisit Win
Hi Alli. I just wanted to give you well wishes in yet another hurdle lives sometimes throw. I wish you the best of luck, and am happy that you can share with us the story of your journey, and survival. Thanks for staying with us.
Winter
kimdog Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 9:11 pmVisit kimdog
I would just like to say that your stbexh is a doo doo head. That is all.
Honey4evr Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 9:23 pmVisit Honey4evr
Wow. I found your site about 3pm this afternoon (6/15) through the blog contest, and just finished reading all the entries to date. I admire your courage in telling your story and pray that you find healing through this process.
I’d like to say that I can’t believe there are people out there as cruel and vile as what you’ve described - but I have my own story, and know for a fact that there are. Take great strength from the fact that you survived the abuse.
I’m so sorry that your parents can’t support you in this, but I’m sure they are unable to face their own participation in it, or deal with the guilt.
I look forward to reading the rest of the story, as horrific as it is.
God bless you and keep you safe from further harm.
Kandice Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 9:23 pmVisit Kandice
Ali,
Sorry to hear about the divorce. This is the forst time I’ve posted, but have been keeping up with your story. I have been waiting the next post. I check back everyday. I’m glad to hear that you will be writing again.
EDDY Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 9:32 pmVisit EDDY
YEAH I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOUR NEXT POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Storyteller Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 10:08 pmVisit Storyteller
Yeesh, I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with all of this
ariadneK Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 10:10 pmVisit ariadneK
You take care woman…I nearly posted a comment (on the most recent post that they were allowed on) asking “what’s up?”, but you have answered the question.
As YOU obviously know, the minute something is posted the the web, current law automatically considers it FULLY copyrighted unless you say otherwise (such as mine, which I have designated as “Some Rights Reserved” so people can do as they wish with my material as long as they acknowledge my site but don’t do anything to make money off of it).
Rock ‘n Roll Alli,
ariK
Kath Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 10:33 pmVisit Kath
Hang in there Alli! You’re a very strong woman and you WILL handle everything in your own time in your own way. Divorce is difficult but you will do just fine in the long run.
xo
SillyNessa Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 10:39 pmVisit SillyNessa
hi sweetie! I’m just sending some love your way - still checkin’ in every day - hey, if you want a good laugh, go over to Spoonleg’s site & read about our Friday out - it will SO make you wanna come visit me
I hope everything goes well - you are always in my prayers!
Tessy Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 10:43 pmVisit Tessy
Glad you’re back. I found your site a few weeks ago and read it from the beginning. Can’t wait to finish.
Kelly Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 11:20 pmVisit Kelly
Cant believe that anyone would want to profit from your pain, especially someone who has seen what it has done to you firsthand. I am so sorry that you have to go through this too, on top of everything else that you have been through.
Mike Lyne Says:
June 15th, 2005 at 11:46 pmVisit Mike Lyne
Good to hear that you’re free to express yourself again, Alli….
Take your time with the posts, if you need it.
We aren’t going anywhere.
Nothing but support for you around here, you know that.
Wishing you and yours the best…
Alli Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 12:00 amVisit Alli
awwwwwwwww! You guys all rock!
Nessa, I’m coming to visit you…seriously.
Lilly Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 12:23 amVisit Lilly
Alli, don’t worry about losing a single reader - we will check until you feel you can write more. Your soon to be ex has a heck of a nerve - if thats an indication of what he is like, well… nuff said. I hope the process is as smooth as it can be for you and know you have tons of support!
CL Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 12:45 amVisit CL
Well, just write it on your own computer and save backup copies…we’ll all get to read the book some day!
WineCountryGirl Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 12:49 amVisit WineCountryGirl
Ali, Someone posted your link today on a private woman’s forum, and I’ve been here ever since. My heart goes out to you for all you’ve been through, and for what you’re going through now. I am a survivor of sexual abuse, also, and understand that a lot of people choose to think our stories are made up. I think they just can’t admit to themselves that these things happen constantly.
I’ll bookmark you and come back to hear the rest of your story when you’re able to post again. Good luck, dear.
Tammi Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 1:20 amVisit Tammi
I’ve just gotten caught up with reading your blog. This is a very powerful experience that you are sharing.
Take all the time that you need to write your posts. Sorry to hear about the ex, I hope that that is a good change for you.
I hope that writing is a part of your healing process. I am a survivor of sexual abuse myself.
I believe you.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Yvon Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 4:04 amVisit Yvon
Hang in there!!
phoenix Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 6:05 amVisit phoenix
Hugs Allie! I figured something was up when you weren’t posting on the other site either. Just glad you are back and take as much time as needed. Just like Mike said… we are not going anywhere!
Ellen@BestBlogContest Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 6:18 amVisit Ellen@BestBlogContest
Maybe you need a better lawyer? That doesn’t make any sense to me.
Nightmare Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 7:05 amVisit Nightmare
You want me to throw him the beatin’ of the week? I will! And not just because I need my fix of your writing, I would do it because he sounds like a first class tool. Why do good girls get mixed up with retards?
Helen Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 7:05 amVisit Helen
It’s a good thing the 59bloggers is on hold! Why can’t people leave a marriage with what they came in with? I hate this junk. I wish you well and hope it is cleared up quickly and as painlessly as possible.
peace……….
PHaggs Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 7:19 amVisit PHaggs
Sorry to hear about your divorce, been there. I look forward to your next post.
ordinary girl Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 7:40 amVisit ordinary girl
sigh… it’s a shame some people always want to know what’s in it for them even when it has nothing to do with them.
you’re very talented and i know much will come of it so probably a good thing to check the laws first.
good luck with everything and i’m sending you out some virtual well wishes that the divorce is as easy on you as possible.
megan
demigod Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 8:24 amVisit demigod
What is with these greedy idiots? Seriously that’s just wrong. I hope he gets nothing and he should get nothing.
Good luck on this.
Old Horsetail Snake Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 8:40 amVisit Old Horsetail Snake
Book? What book?
Keep smiling, Alli.
mrsdort Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 8:52 amVisit mrsdort
so sorry to hear about your divorce. and so thankful that I found your blog. it’s riveting. I hope you continue to share your story with us and hope that things get better for you soon!
David Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 9:17 amVisit David
I’m not a lawyer, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night (not really, just a lame attempt at humor).
Anyways, having been through a divorce I know how painful it is. I wish you the best and shall keep you in my prayers. You are obviously a survivor and I have great respect for that.
Also, it would seem to me that if these stories are based upon your journals that you kept through the experience then it is “property” you brought into the marraige, and thus your’s and your’s alone after the divorce. Only property acquired (or in this case written) during the course of the marraige is subject to division. Since it was published during the marraige, then that may add a wrinkle. I also don’t know your living arrangements, but at least in Louisiana where I live, the “community” ends upon seperation, so if you were seperated and living apart during the period you started and wrote this blog any revenue that would result from it are yours.
On an entirely different note, as sad as your story is, your writing is just gripping. If you haven’t already, I would seriously consider publishing it as a book. I think it might be a bestseller.
Jess Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 9:28 amVisit Jess
Alli–
I came upon this site and couldn’t take my eyes off it. What you’ve written is so heartbreaking–I really can’t say any more than that, and it makes me angry that you had to go through this, but also glad that you survived.
I’ll be linking you on my blog–if you want, you can check it out while you wait, though the load time could be long due to the bajillion photos on there.
Sending good thoughts your way so you can write again. Hang in.
Lost Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 10:11 amVisit Lost
I’m sorry for your troubles. I hope everything gets better soon.
Enigma Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 10:33 amVisit Enigma
Alli,
You are making posts at 12:00 am? Do you ever sleep?
Your story touches me deeply. As a surival skill instructor I dance on the fringes of many of the things that you speak about. But your story terrifies me and it enlightens me at the same time.
Keep on writing. I will keep on reading.
- Enigma
Danika Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 10:48 amVisit Danika
Ew I’m sorry to hear that. I hope things are better for you soon.
Cori Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 11:15 amVisit Cori
So glad to see that you are around again. We’ll be here whenever your doo-doo head husband stops being greedy (or finds out that he has no chance to profit from your pain) and you have the freedom to write here. I’m just glad you’re here again.
Aaron Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 11:17 amVisit Aaron
I have yet to finish reading the progress of these… memoirs, I guess. I also haven’t read all the comments in the entries, so I don’t know if it’s been asked. I know this is an odd question, but you mention talking to God multiple times in the blog, I’m just wondering if you still believe in Him/them/whatever you may believe. This isn’t being judgmental, I’m just wondering.
Thanks,
Aaron M.
SillyNessa Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 11:25 amVisit SillyNessa
bring it on chica!!! the whole crew should come for vacation!
Hannah Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 12:01 pmVisit Hannah
Alli,
I stumbled across your blog a few weeks ago and have checked back everyday since. I have read every post. My heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers. Me, being sixteen, can not believe the tourture you went through, and even more now with your divorce and ass hole of a soon to be ex-husband. You did things durning the challenger that I am not sure I could’ve pushed myself to do, physically and mentally. I am eager to read your next post and thank you for sharing your experience. you are a strong strong woman.
hannah
CAD Monkey Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 12:32 pmVisit CAD Monkey
Just de-lurking to say that I hope you can find a way to continue writing!! Once I found this site, I pretty much read from start to finish in a day.
I can’t believe there are people who can be so cruel. I can’t believe you survived. I can’t believe that things are still leaning more towards bad than good for you; it’s just so unfair.
Judging from nothing other than your writing, I know you’re stronger than I’ll ever be. You have my admiration and hopes for a better future.
Please finish the story, if it’s possible. I want to know how you made it through.
StoneyGRL Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 12:53 pmVisit StoneyGRL
Hey Alli …
Wishing you all the best … and hoping things all fall into the right place for you …
Channing Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 12:54 pmVisit Channing
A,
I’ve been going nuts waiting for you next installment !
I understand you’ve got allot going on.
Thinking of you, and praying for best.
much love.
C
Goodtxgirl Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 1:55 pmVisit Goodtxgirl
You know Alli, with what you have been through in the past this should just be one more little hurdle for you to clear..God Bless and hang in there !
LosingSanity Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 2:29 pmVisit LosingSanity
So sorry to hear about your divorce - I’ve been there, and it’s not easy. I’ve been following your story with interest - I hope that you are free to continue writing again soon. Shame on your husband to try and make up buck off of your story about the suffering you went through as a child.
poopie Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 2:40 pmVisit poopie
OK then…what say we take greedy soon to be ex out back and stomp his butt? Keep the faith gal. We’re all behind you. ^j^
Pattie Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 4:22 pmVisit Pattie
Ugh…people suck…and greedy people suck more. He’s a total rat for trying to take money from you, the mother of his children… I hope your lawyer finds some good ways to show him a lesson…stealing money that doesn’t exist is BAD, MEAN and ROTTEN… He’s an ugly person on the inside.
Good luck to you Alli!
kenju Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 5:24 pmVisit kenju
Sounds like you will be well-rid of him, Alli. We will wait until you return. Good luck and patience through it all.
Amanda B. Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 5:32 pmVisit Amanda B.
Good lord sweetie. I just happened upon your blog and wanted to say I’m sorry. Divorce is hard, but things will get better. I always want to smack people who say that to me.
You can kick me in the virtual shin if it helps at all.
Faithstwin Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 7:59 pmVisit Faithstwin
Ally,
I am so sorry to hear this. Best of luck to you and your kiddos. Hang in there and I will be thinking of you and yours and asking for strength to be sent while you deal with this situation.
Annie Thomas-Burke Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 8:50 pmVisit Annie Thomas-Burke
Alli I am so sorry.
Maybe this is for the best. Less stress for you to please others by putting out creatively speaking.
You can write as you want and just save it for later.
Take care of yourself for a change.
Do some blog hopping, tomorrow I post my monthly
list of some really great blogs to read.
Have some fun laughing !
Amy Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 8:55 pmVisit Amy
I’m sorry about the divorce, but glad you are OK, considering. I don’t know him, so I’m not going to badmouth him.
It sounds like it’s going to be better this way.
Good luck and we’ll still be here.
tish Says:
June 16th, 2005 at 11:22 pmVisit tish
Alli
ANYtime you need to talk, to vent, or just bitch, I am here for you. Hate that you have to go through this BUT there is a better side coming your way. I;ll pray for you and yours, okay???
the queen Says:
June 17th, 2005 at 3:04 amVisit the queen
Alli I am so so sorry to hear of your divorce. I believe you will find that you are better off without such a louse as would want to “call dibbs on future earnings.” What a @#*&#(* . I have been here for you since almost the beginning, reading and absorbing every word. Supporting you every step of the way. I am still here, standing right behind you and your efforts. ((((((((((hugs))))))))). And don’t let anything sway you from your course!
Raida Says:
June 17th, 2005 at 8:55 amVisit Raida
You’re obviously a very strong woman. Use this next bump in the road to your advantage and remember you’re never alone.
God speed.
nina Says:
June 17th, 2005 at 10:12 amVisit nina
I’ve been reading your site for a while and i’m so sorry to hear you husband (soon to be ex) is being such an ass.
your story has touched me and i will keep checking back to read more. until then my thoughts and prayers are you with to find the strength to get through this.
Nathan Says:
June 17th, 2005 at 3:16 pmVisit Nathan
Hi,
I just wanted to say that I’ve been following this blog very earnestly. It’s a very harrowing story. When I found it I couldn’t tear myself away, and I can’t wait for the rest.
It’s sad that this type of thing will probably still continue to happen somewhere. I hope your story raises awareness, as I’m sure is your intention.
Thanks for tell us.
And I hope your legal situation is resolved amicably.
-Nathan
S. Faolan Wolf Says:
June 17th, 2005 at 5:47 pmVisit S. Faolan Wolf
While I could focus on the negatives here what I find very positive in all of this is how much support it appears you have. Support makes all the difference in the world, ESPECIALLY when going through trying times.
A person is so strong and sometimes needs support to help them through…the fact you have it is wonderful. You’re going to be just fine.
dotbar Says:
June 17th, 2005 at 6:31 pmVisit dotbar
So sorry.
Andy Says:
June 18th, 2005 at 6:27 amVisit Andy
One more argument for staying single.
lynsey Says:
June 18th, 2005 at 7:01 amVisit lynsey
ali,
two words…ass hole…
Love ya!!! Miss ya!!!
xo lyns
Papka Says:
June 18th, 2005 at 2:34 pmVisit Papka
I hope this all is settled how it should be very soon. You know we support you and we are patiently waiting for your next entry.
Hug.
Nikito Says:
June 18th, 2005 at 11:13 pmVisit Nikito
More than you know, you ARE helping people.
Rebecca Says:
June 19th, 2005 at 8:06 amVisit Rebecca
Good Luck and God Bless you Allie… I know it is tough, but you will survive, I know you will. You are a strong woman, with many talents. If he even hints again at your “fortune”, tell him you’re writing a tell-all book about him… and he can have the profits from that… ($0… reaction- priceless)
misty Says:
June 19th, 2005 at 7:18 pmVisit misty
Oh, Alli, that blows, honey. My first husband tried to get alimony out of me because I’d stripped to support his fat lazy ass. The lawyer laughed him out of the room, as should yours. If that doesn’t work, you can count me among the vocal numbers of your readers willing to take him out back and shove a boot up his ass. Hang in there, and good luck.
Emily Says:
June 19th, 2005 at 7:35 pmVisit Emily
Let’s say you get a book or movie deal because of the blog… what happened to you, happened to you, and only you should be compensated for your story…
I’m sure any attorny would fight that and any judge would award it…
I wish you the best Alli, you are an amazing strong woman…
I wish you happiness, peace and prosparity.
Jeff Says:
June 19th, 2005 at 10:26 pmVisit Jeff
I don’t know… judges have legalized abortion, so crazier things have happened.
franky Says:
June 19th, 2005 at 11:29 pmVisit franky
Wow great blog and story
nance Says:
June 20th, 2005 at 12:10 pmVisit nance
I’m with you sista/stranger friend!!!
If you’re thinking of writing a book, it may be best not to get it published until the divorce is final.
Paul N. Says:
June 20th, 2005 at 12:23 pmVisit Paul N.
I’ve read all your book so far. It’s good. I’m looking forward to reading the rest. Best wishes
kit Says:
June 21st, 2005 at 8:48 amVisit kit
didnt your husband.. well ex husband read this? I cant believe you would have a site like this and your husband wouldn’t read it, he must be pretty low.
Chet Says:
June 21st, 2005 at 9:40 amVisit Chet
Best luck to you - Hope everything works out alright for you… Keep on truckin!
Sherb Says:
June 21st, 2005 at 5:37 pmVisit Sherb
I’m still checking incessantly for updates, be they new chapters or simply a reassurance that everything is okay in your world. And I mean that in the least stalker-ish manner, really. Hee. (::clicks refresh:: …no pressure to update or anything… ::refresh::)
Anyway, hope all is well. Thanks for keeping the site up… even if your story is never formally published, it still resonates in all of us who read/lurk/comment, so write at your leisure, screw the money, and know that you have a whole body of fans behind you.
steve Says:
June 22nd, 2005 at 2:49 pmVisit steve
Wow. I read this start to finish…
I love your entries that mention Christ. I can only pray that through all of this you never lose your faith and trust in Christ. For what it is worth I am praying for you
Binsk Says:
June 22nd, 2005 at 5:23 pmVisit Binsk
I’m very sorry to hear that Alli. I have read your ENTIRE blog today. I hope that you keep writing and keep healing.
Svend la Rose Says:
June 22nd, 2005 at 11:07 pmVisit Svend la Rose
What a fucking leech!
A man who promised to love you until you part in death would divorce you over your writing? What kind of man would leave his life partner to profit from her suffering?
If I ever knew a man that would do anything other than support his wife in every way possible through this, I would dismember him with my bare hands.
Bryna Says:
June 24th, 2005 at 1:02 pmVisit Bryna
What a jerk. You obviously are a strong woman… this will just be another page in the life of Alli.
Keep yer head up girl!
(and Brat Camp makes me shiver after reading this… especially since it’s a “reality” TV show.)
Tris Says:
June 28th, 2005 at 6:31 pmVisit Tris
when i saw the commercial for brat camp last week i was shocked
i told everyone in the room with me about your story & i told them what really happens…
are you going to watch?
Amal Says:
July 2nd, 2005 at 1:50 amVisit Amal
So sorry to hear about your struggles. What a greedy person to try to profit off of your intellectual property. In a word: Blech.
Good luck…
debra Says:
July 10th, 2005 at 10:08 amVisit debra
“As the seeds moved through the air, they caught tiny bits of sunlight and they danced in the air like tiny little ballerinas with fire for tutus.”
I wanted to comment on this but comments were closed on that post. This is a beautiful line.
And sorry to even gratify this with a response but Jeff when _you_ can have babies then you can comment on abortion. Until then, if I may be so trite, keep your damn laws off my body. And how ironic that you would comment about abortion on a blog that details abuse and rape! God forbid one of these girls should have become pregnant - you think their whole lives should be changed because of some rapist?
Arthur Says:
March 15th, 2006 at 11:54 amVisit Arthur
I know this must be hard to remember and write about but why not put out a book?
Kristen Says:
April 20th, 2006 at 5:52 pmVisit Kristen
You are an amazing woman. I found your site yesterday and I have not been able to stop reading, too bad I have been at work, so I haven’t done much work for 1 1/2 days but it was worth it.
I hope you continue on with telling your story, you are an inspiration to others that have gone though very difficult things early on in their lives.
If you have continued to write, I would love the privilege to be able to continue to read.
simon rug Says:
April 27th, 2006 at 4:57 amVisit simon rug
Sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through i had a similar experience with a lady like your man an d i can relate to what you are saying i like my beans with a hint of garlic and my dogs four foot seven inches.