63 Days

The evening crept in and with it came the cold. The wind that was blowing the storm away tore into my inlet, bouncing off of the back walls and circling around, digging deep into my bedroll. Sand whipped itself into every crack and crease, smoothing out footprints and filling in my firepit.

I pulled the blanket up over my head and listened to the howling it made as it danced with the old dead juniper at the entrance. Bushes and shrubs moved with it, sounding like great animals walking through leaves, and I had to check a few times that I was still alone, it was that loud outside.

I was sure the night wouldn’t end and I tried to gauge in my head what time it was. On cold and windy nights like this, the minutes seem like hours. I could not sleep.

I heard a small movement. I assumed it was the bushes. It moved again, this time nearer to me, and I stiffened a bit as I realized it was alive. The sound of footsteps came again and I froze in my blanket until I heard them right next to my head. It wasn’t moving. I was still and terrified, but I had to see.

I pulled down the blanket just enough so I could get a tiny glimpse of what was next to me, and as I did, he was there.

“Helllllo,” he said. His eyes were black and shiny, his face covered with a few days of stubble.

I pulled back and grabbed the blanket and held it to my chest.

“What…who…..what are you doing here?” I asked.

“Shhhh…” he said. He slowly and deliberately put his right knee over my body and was soon kneeling over me. “Don’t say anything. Nobody is going to hear you anyway.”

He looked around him quickly as positioned himself so that my face was right between his thighs. He pulled up his sweatshirt a bit and began to unzip his jeans. His hands were filthy and one of his fingernails was black around the edges with dirt, or blood.

“Ok, I can hold you down, or you can do this like a good girl. Don’t think of biting or hitting me with anything, I will break your damn neck, kid. You got that? I’m going to get in there with you, so take off your pants.”

He moved to the right of me, allowing me to undo and remove my pants. He held his hands firmly on my arms and after I’d finished, he pulled the blanket down and got inside with me.

I could smell the campfire on his shirt. His skin was scratchy and as he bent in to smell my neck, I could feel the whiskers against my cheek, scraping and poking me. His hands wandered quickly to my underwear and he slid his hands inside. Soon he was on top of me, and he was inside of me.

Hot tears fell down the sides of my face and I felt myself slipping into a dream. I remembered my childhood, I thought about songs I’d learned at church as a kid. Anything but this was on my mind.

He did his thing for what seemed to be forever, and when he was done, he rolled over, stood up and zipped up his jeans. I layed there in shock, not knowing what to do next. I didn’t want to let the scream that was building inside my head out, so I bit my cheek until the coppery taste of blood filled my mouth. He walked around my camp and the wind carried his scent away from me. It whipped up a sandy cloud over by the entrance of my home and as he walked back over to me, I saw that he’d been talking, and I hadn’t even heard a sound. The screaming in my head and the howling of the wind had blocked him out.

“Did you hear me? Answer me! Where’s the candy? We know you have it, we don’t know how you got it in, but we know you have it. Where is it?” He stormed over to behind the rock. They must have been watching me from another angle and seen me back there. He came out again and marched over to my side.

“You ate it? You ate it all? SPEAK!” he ordered.

“Y-y-y-yes’sir. I ate it. I’m sorry, I was just…so hungry” I stammered. I looked down into my lap and finally was able to let a sob out.

“You’re cryin over some candy? Jeez, girl. Buck up! Get tough, you aren’t going to get out of here if you keep this up, you know that?” he said, now bending to next to where I had sat up. Stroking my hair he said “Its ok. See, I’m taking care of you. You’re gonna be ok, Murdock’s gone for the week and its just you and me now.” He played with my hair and stood back up.

“I’ll be watching you now. I’ll be back in the morning to light you a fire, you should eat some oats. You gotta be strong in a few days, you’re gonna be going to a group that’s big and strong. Ok?” he asked.

I nodded yes, and he turned to leave. He didn’t get in a car, he just walked off into the dark and disappeared.

It was then that I was finally able to cry. I curled up into my blanket on my side and sobbed. How many more men like this were out here? Where was John? Where was God?